Breaking Dawn

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Saw Breaking Dawn Part Two today and despite not having read the last book or being a ‘recognized’ Twihard I followed the story with ease. Overall I enjoyed the movie. My favorite part was the last ten minutes and when Edward is shown the past, it actually brought tears to my eyes. I’ve been accused of being overly emotional, a hopeless romantic, a softy……well I’ll take all of those crowns and wear them with pride!!! And when the flashback scene was set to the backdrop song by Christina Perri, a total Fav of mine, I knew it was going to be a moment that tugged hard at my heart strings!! I mean c’mon, how could you not feel it. Such a perfect love. Against all odds. The perfect match. It’s just what womem hope for. Whether you’re twelve or fifty, we all want that perfect person, that perfect family, that perfect set of friends, the life where you can turn to the people you love and know that they’ll be there! Ready to tear heads off and fight the hardest and bloodiest battles. And a partner, a mate, who is destined to be your special somebody. A thousand years. Its what I wish for you, for me, for everybody. Find your Edward. Find your Jacob, your Bella, your Alice. And don’t let anyone tell you its silly to be soft hearted and sweet and emotional. If you hear Christina Perri, she sings from the heart and from her own personal experiences, its ok to cry, its ok to want what Jasper and Alice have, what Bella and Edward have. The mass success of the series relies on the hope we all have that if not today, in some life, maybe a thousand years from now, we’ll all find the perfect protector lover confidant friend and soulmate. Thank you Meyer for a series that brought back romance and to C.P. for adding your angelic voice to what will become a cult classic. I’ve loved you since I first heard you on some dance show, that I never watch, but that night did, only to be amazed by your original song Jar of Hearts that hit me like a ton of bricks!!! I havent been that touched by lyrics in a long long time.

And to Straighty, what else can I say, except this series was written for people just like you, talk about hitting the target audience! Glad to have shared it with you. You made me feel better for the tears I shed, cuz you beat me tenfold kiddo. Good for you!

And shout out to Maryann, thx for your sweater, kept me toasty and warm. Like you always do. gonna miss you at movies when you have the baby. Xo

Thumbs up!! Peace and Love.

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Babies <3

Went to my first 4-D ultrasound tonight, it was really amazing, new life, new beginnings, surrounded by the people the expecting couple care about most in their lives. It was a remarkable experience to observe the reactions, the interactions and the bonds. Love was definitely present. So happy to have been a part of the night, and to the happy couple, who truly deserve one another and their soon to arrive son. I learned a great deal tonight, and lessons in life never stop, whether you’re 50 or 5. This was a good evening. If you ever have the chance to attend a 4-D I recommend it, the clarity is incredible and its really special to see the little features so prominent, and while on this particular night one little boy may have seemed uncooperative to some, he seemed quiet and content to me. While the table talk later turned to the variety of sports he would not only play, but master, I simply hope he is healthy and happy and confident in his own individuality. It’s a brave move to bring a child into this often complicated world, and my hats off to two women whose love for one another has now braved this new frontier. I am in awe.

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When do you stop trying?

In the past several years I have come to terms with so many things in my life, one of them knowing when enough is enough and knowing when to give up. It’s hard to remind yourself not to care, not to cry, not to reach out. But there really is a time to stop trying to get thru, when its time to find peace in where you are and what you have. Nobody can fix everything, nobody is loved by all. And everybody stumbles and falls, its getting up thats important. And sometimes when you get up there are fewer people around, the more you fall the smaller the group is. On the final fall, you will be alone.

Recently I tried to reach out to my father, but it didnt work out the way it was supposed to. Recently I tried to reach out to a boy who has become a man, but it didnt work out the way it was supposed to. Recently I tried to learn the truth about a family member’s behavior and actions, so I could try and understand them, but that didnt work out either! I began to think maybe it was me.

I used to be so hard, if you screwed me over, you were dead to me. Then somewhere along the path of life I got soft. Too soft. And that made me forget some people cant be saved, some people arent meant to be in our lives, and there always is a point when letting go is the greatest accomplishment you can achieve for inner peace.

So as we approach Thanksgiving next week I shall give thanks for the things and people in my life who bring me joy. I hope I return that joy to you also. As we approach the end of another year, I will remind myself more frequently not to let disappointments get the better of me. Living a life with stress and regret and anger isnt a life blessed. And I have many blessings to be thankful for, so to anyone struggling this season, let the dead remain dead, there was a reason things turned out as they did.

Do you struggle during the holidays? Why? Are you missing something or someone? Who? Is there anything you realistically can do to improve the situation? If the answer is ‘no’ then do yourself the biggest favor and move on. Because there really is a time when you throw the towel in. The fight isnt worth it. This isnt a lesson you learn once, instead its like algebra, just when you think you get it, its right there on paper confusing the bloody hell out of you again. So you relearn it, and every time it sticks with you a little longer.

When you think about it, dysfunction is just as genetic as blue eyes or blonde hair. You just cant escape your own destiny, and sometimes I wonder if we really have any control over it at all. The harder you climb, the less height you achieve. So for Pete’s sake, take a different path and save yourself the trouble of a broken heart and a troubled soul.

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? Family ?

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How is it you can feel alone in a house filled with family? I came to conclude family isnt something you can join, its something you have to genuinely feel. And in many situations I feel like an outsider looking in, I always have. Have always kept a safe distance between myself and others, never losing sight of the door. Its not that I dont love these people (well most of them anyways) I just feel hollow when it comes to family, its not something I embrace easily or without great apprehension, so I suppose that creates a wall, or several, and therefore Im most likely doomed before I even begin. You might say then that I am a Loner, always have been, always will be, quite possibly.

So then how do the masses do it? Is it genetic, do we learn it as children, through exposure, through the love we feel from our parents and their nurturing? How do you forgive all the things you feel, all the secrets that you know, erase, like they were never spoken, the ill words? How do you forget-forgive? I search for answers and meaning, not to please others, but to quiet and comfort my own soul.

In the interim, I watch with envy at the ease most feel, yet I stand paralyzed on the diving board, wanting but unable to jump in.

Peace!

One less fan today

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Our sweet girl Gwen has a major teeth cleaning today where they’ll put her under anesthia; so she’ll be missing the Patriots game today, the huge Brady fan that she is! Seriously though I get a little worried with her advancing age and being put under, but I know that dental care is crucial to a pet’s health and life. And I want this ole gal to be around for many years to come. So good luck Gwennie, you’re gonna do great and come out smelling like roses. Love you pup!

And GO PATS!! ##1 in the AFC east <3. Peace.

The moves, the grooves

Dance. It’s a long honored tradition and a celebratory ritual dating back thousands of years. And if you havent done it for a while, I highly recommend it. Not only is it great exercise for the body ( use it or lose it ); its great exercise for the soul.

When the music is slamming, the lights are dim and bodies are in fluid motion…the world disappears and left in its ugly place is just the music coarsing through your veins!! And after endless months of political banter it was nice to escape that for an evening and enjoy some good ol’ fashion Rock N Roll.

So I wondered how many people dance, you know when they’re not out at a club? Myself I dance at home, when noone is looking and especially on newly waxed wood floors with clean white socks!! I mean who could resist? But I also sometimes dance under the moonlit sky with my girl close, swaying, like back when we were young. And it never grows old, New Hampshire. Florida, its all the same, if you let the music in, the song will follow. I love to dance, and last night reminded me why. Its just pure joy and fun! Whether you’re shaking what the good Lord gave you, or softly sharing the space and moment with someone special, dancing makes you feel good deep down inside. It’s magic here on Earth. And if you’ve ever had the pleasure of attending the ballet or modern dance, or even professional ice skating performances, you understand what I’m talking about and the intense emotional power dance can possess.

But dancing is also fun to observe in a social setting and some of the best people watching ever! Imagine pre-historic times and being present to witness the mating dance of a giant T-Rex, limbs flapping in the breeze!! The proud peacook colorful and struttin’ its stuff!! The badass wannabe gangsta whose got the moves like Jagger!! And let us not overlook the cutest damn couple who’ve shared the same bed for more than 60 years as they hit every beat from the ballroom dancing class taken more than 30 years ago, but who can’t remember where they parked the car. Now that is some of the sweetest shit I’ve seen in years. I love watching people connect, really connect on that kind of level. Two bodies, moving as one well oiled unit. There’s simply nothing better. I’m not sure what I enjoyed more, being with the people or watching the people? It was just what the doctor ordered.

That said, my own knee was well-oiled last night thanks to the miracles of cortisone, and allowed me to really get up close and enjoy the action. Thanks Dr. J, I’m really going to miss you. I even got to jam down on the bass, and it was such good fun! The band was good, although I’m now officially hooked on Studio54 which transported me instantly back to FunkyTown where I found myself humming the tunes for days, still these guys held their own (and a female lead vocalist who carries the night and range of male dominated songs, must always be applauded and recognized). Can’t wait to kick up the heels with them this New Years Eve!

Interestingly, a topic of conversation were dance classes at the community center? Does that make me sound old? And is it the dance lessons part, or the community center part? Well shoot, it might be both. Afterall I am a woman who just discovered the sheer wonderfulness of compression socks! Truth. They are amazing! My legs havent felt this energized in years, and being 50 (and proud of it) it definitely IS the little things that count. So back to the little matter of dance lessons. Should I do it? Another couple is interested, so I (we) wouldnt be alone four fumbling feet on the floor. I’m going to give it some serious thought, cuz it sure looked like fun and this old dawg just might be able to pick up some much needed ‘grace’.

So the next time you have the chance, let the spirit move you. Dance! It’ll lighten your load. Free your soul, and just soar baby, soar! There’s so much we struggle with on a daily basis. Work. Age. Wrinkles. Aches. Loss. Worry. Regret. We all have it, none more than the next, just a different burden, the weight still carried, a constant companion. But We also share something else, we all got but this one life and we should spend more of it with music in our hearts, if we do that, the feet will surely follow. I can guarantee you the smile will.

So……..Have a most beautiful weekend and thank you to our brave veterans who sacrifice so much of themselves in the name of public service. In your honor I devote my morning to public service and helping hurricane Sandy victims. Peace!

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November!!

As the cooler air fills my lungs I am missing New England. While I recently visited Vermont, the trip was too short and I can’t wait until I’m able to spend the entire Summers there. But for now, I’ve returned to Florida where I live and earn a living, enjoying the southern life but dreaming of the perfect life. Not everyone wants to be a snowbird. I’m not on that list. I want summers filled with lakes and mountains, soft grass under my feet and a small cottage or home with a dock, on the water, where I can enjoy sunsets or sunrises, a warm cup of coffee and the precious silence of a beautiful morning. I also want winters absent of mounds of snow, ice and slush. I want to know its 10 degrees somewhere, but 60-70 degrees where I am, where I can go for a walk with the dogs, steal a few hours at the beach, knowing as the temps and humidity rise, I have a secret escape from the perpetual furnace of a Florida summer.

So welcome November! Being stuck in Florida full-time at the moment, it happens to be one of my fav times of year here. So I shall enjoy it. Last night driving with the top down, chillin over cold beers and great gourmet pizza with good conversation, twinkling lights and cool breezes. Nice start to the weekend. And sure beat the hustle of Pineapple Festival. So……. I’ve made a decision recently to be more positive, so in the spirit of that, while I miss you Vermont, we will be reunited soon! I promise. Stay green! Peace.

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