Im a fifty year old New England lesbian who uprooted her life 6 Years ago moving to Florida with my partner and her son. I was six months out of breast cancer treatment and she had just graduated from radiology school, her son was going into his freshman year in high school. 6 years ago seems like a lifetime. So much has changed. Some for the better some for the worse. I love myself, probably too much, and definitely more than most. I have two awesome dogs, Gwen an 11 year old MinPin and Bella a 5 year old Yorkie, they’re the substitute kids I never had. We lost our son (long story), but we never lose hope (ok, first white lie, I lost hope years ago) but I hope for her, my partner, who didnt deserve the loss (one I often blame myself for) and if a person could be any more self-loathing, I dare them to show themselves.
I believe in God. I think I’m pretty funny and mostly I’m a good friend. I talk more than I listen, but really hear you when it’s important. I take valuable secrets to my grave. I have horrible relationships with my parents, and good relationships with my siblings. I am nice. I am mean. I think the value of laughter is seriously under-rated and that more people should embrace the calming peace that can only be found in solitude. I also think technology has taken over our lives and that blogs now take the place of novelty items like literature and conversation.
I’m not always honest, but I always have a better reason for the things that I do, which perhaps you just cant unserstand. I hold value in good people, and find that their genuiness is quite easily one of the most attractive qualities in another human being, second only to confidence.
I’m not always a social person, though most would feel I am. I love telling stories, most of which are true. If I like you, I will always like you. If you have to ‘grow’ on me, I will probably end of loving you. If I hate you, I will never trust you.
My secret fantasy is to rob a bank or pull off some incredible heist, I’ll probably never have the balls of steel required to do it, but I think about it, second to winning the lotto. I guess when you hit fifty you start thinking how many years are left, whose left, and what will it be like in ten years, will I change as much in the next ten as I did in the last? I’m tired. I’ve worked since I was 16 and have never taken a handout since I was 12. I’m proud and independent, often to my own detriment. Some say not to look a gift horse in the face, or some nonsense like that, How about kick a gift horse in the teeth?
I decided to blog to clear my head, learn from other bloggers, and free my mind of the parade of thoughts and questions I have running marathons in their, being trampled by midgets riding BigWheels. Its pointless to blog, but pointless are so many things in life, at least this one won’t kill me.
I hate rollercoasters. I love good books and movies and romantic storylines that are real. I love the perfect line. I’m a sucker, but I’m happier giving someone a second (third fourth fifth) chance, til they prove me wrong (or right if the shoe fits) and then you’re dead to me. At the same time I’ma great friend and more reliable than AAA. I can tow any troubled soul to shallow water. But you cant force a horse to drink!
Speaking of dead. I dont want a funeral, its true, I even legalized the request (a/k/a my demand) in my last will and testament. They say the services are for the living and not the dead, so I’ll probably be neatly laud out in a box someday, but know that I wont be happy about it — actually that’ll piss me off more than the whole being dead part. That part I’ll leave to God, and who can be mad at him/her, right?!
If you want to know more about me, follow my blog or send me a note. I’m going to blog for a year and see how I feel about it. I could piss some people off (wouldnt be a virgin in that category); could enlighten some; mostly just hope to be real and maybe spread a smile or two or ten.
I’m far from perfect, but I’m me and that’s perfect enough. You either will love me or hate me, and hopefully in either choice you’ll find me interesting enough to read on for another day, in the realization you’re life isn’t as hopeless and boring as you thought.
Peace. ~ Sharon