Beautiful experience.

Yesterday I had a beautiful experience. I witnessed life. And it wasnt just in the birth of an astoundingly beautiful baby boy. But the wonders & beauty of “life” all around me. From great determination and the conquering of fear as my bestie pushed past pain that so had scared her. I witnessed tenderness in a mother that I didnt know existed as I observed Connie comfort and support a daughter she had long ago chose to adopt at the most vulnerable time in that daughter’s life. I witnessed health care workers unjaded by their professions who truly cared about their patient, while remaining calm and in control of a situation. I witnessed tears of joy and relief. I witnessed elated excitement with the crowning of Micah’s little head and who would’ve thought that seeing a little bit of hair would become such a significant highlight of the day.

I also witnessed and was a part of a true support system and inner circle, and saw firsthand how important that is in life and to people. To belong. To have a secured place in the lives of others. To have purpose. There is no better feeling. There is no greater satisfaction than being called to service, and to stepping up. I was so thrilled to contribute laughter, encouragement and support and thank you ladies for the opportunity; it shall always remain one of the greatest days of my life.

On a political sidenote: In a world where gays and lesbians must fight for the very same rights granted to others by our Nation’s Constitution, I applaud Denise and Maryann for building a modern-day family. Your love and success in doing so supports the cause….that we are no different from anyone else. Our generation will affect the next, just as generations before us paved the road for human rights shared today. You two are now part of that history and your son will influence the people of his generation. Raise him with a kind heart, a stern and guiding hand, and let his dreams soar. He is our tomorrow.

I love the three of you, and am honored to be inside your circle





New year new challenges


It is indeed a new year. It is indeed the 17th of the month already. I have indeed made few changes in 2013 from 2012. But all is not forgotten or failed. I am commited to being different. I am commited to be larger in life and truer to myself. Last year I did one selfless act a month in all 12 months, some where visible, others quiet beacons of kindness. This year is my year.

This year I will love more. This cannot be done without hand-in-hand forgiving more.

This year I will appreciate the small moments, like the kiss from a long trusted canine friend (no matter how nasty her breath is), stopping to view the sunset, swallowing my pride, giving an unexpected compliment, the joy of reaching a friend when she is called and hearing her voice vs voicemail, the smell of fresh cut grass you didnt have to mow) and the sweet softness that shares a house a bed a heart.

This year I will take care of my body. It will never be perfect, but it can be stronger and better.

This year I will write. A long time passion too easily folded away in a drawer. This year I will write a book. It may be great, it may suck, but in it will be me, each page filled with my thoughts my imagination my unspoken words. Thank you Jack for inspiring someone you never met.

This year I will take less bullshit. This year I will hear less lies and give more sympathy, where it is deserved.

This year I will let children sweeten my world and let go of the bitterness left by another.

This year is going to be amazing. I am fifty (50) and Im never going to be fifty again, so this time is going to count and I will leave a mark of kindness on the world like a soft goodnight kiss and a tattoo of hope. Be yourself. Love and live in the spirit of who you are and who you aspire to be. No one will make you happy, that’s your job. And in this uncertain economy and in this world of uncertain times, it’s the one job you will never lose, so don’t lose sight of yourself. So Sharon, in case you forgot. I love you, you are amazing!


Man’s best friend

As I lay here blogging entirely too early with two dogs (one snuggled tightly to my leg, other fuffy butt pressed against my pillow) I think to myself these little creatures really are man’s (in this case woman’s) bestfriends. And I began to ponder…why? Why were these beasts domesticated hundreds even thousands of years ago?

Oh I know history tells us it was to catch rats and keep the lower depths of castles clean of nasty pests; it was to assist in the herding of cattle; it was to be a protector; a trusting hunting companion to flush out and fetch game.

While all of that may be true, funny how old portraits often depict an owner and its most prized, trusted, and loved companion. The canine.

So we domesticated them for a purpose, let them live amongst us in our homes, and then we fell in love with them? Well it’s no wonder. They love and protect us, even with their own lives if necessary. They don’t talk back, disagree, complain, or challenge your opinions. They listen without comment. They respect. They admire. They’re not needy, they’re satisfied with the time and love you have for them, they are indeed grateful. They hide their own pain so as to make you feel safer, like they’re not faltering on their oath to protect you. Dogs are amazing! I love my yorkie and my min pin. They truly are my biggest fans. They are the best friends who will never truly understand what they mean to me and all they give to me each and every day. Shout out to Gwen and Bella, and a big Thanks. Loving me isnt always easy but you make it seem effortless.

If only all relationships in life could be this simple, this pure. But they can’t and they aren’t, and I guess we’d get bored without the challenge, abrasion and unpredictability that comes with human contact.

I do wish everyone could have that one friend you could have that kind of unguarded relationship with. No judgment, just love and understanding. No competition, no jealousy, no hidden agendas, no saying one thing and meaning another. Just the intellectual bond between two people, who while they may challenge, disagree, and from time to time even disappoint, but never dishonor. How wonderful a world this would be if every person had just one if these best friends. Someone with whom your heart was bound. It may be your wife, your childhood friend, your brother, sister or mother, your confidant, your partner or manager…just one person who truly understood you and had your back always, no ifs, ands or buts.

I know many of you readers will think ‘heck I have one of those’ but do you? Today we consider best friends too lightly. You hang out once in a while, call every now and again to ‘check in’, and they listen to you complain or boast, or you listen to them, but are they really your unconditional-stick by your side thru thick n thin-love you despite it all-put you above all else: best friend? If so, cheers, you are one lucky person!

So if you take anything from this post today take two things (1) love your pet through its eyes, and see him or her the way they see you and (2) be a better friend and demand more from those people you call friends. Your pet deserves it, and you deserve it. And if that means some housecleaning, well get the broom!!



A good nights rest isnt over rated

Tonight I’m in love with the world, the garden of people that flower my life with such vibrant color. Tonight I’m going to sleep like a baby, sound & content. Knowing I did the best I could do today, at every path I crossed, I tackled it with humor, love, honesty and discretion. So I lay down my head and in my prayers thank the world for being a glorious diverse place where all voices are heard and all views valued. Rest well everyone. A good nights sleep can change your whole attitude!!

AGE. It’s just a number. But a BIG one!!

Last week I turned 50.  It wasn’t quite as bad as the year I turned 30, and it might have gone totally ignored, had all of my siblings not traveled to Florida to celebrate.  While I loved their presence and reconnecting with all of them, it did make me realize that FIFTY is significant.  I pondered whether they had all sat around planning the trip, thinking perhaps, “it might be the last time we’re all together like this”.  LOL.  In any event, I’m sure we’ll all be around for a long time to come, but I did realize that this year should be special, and in an effort to take one small step to make the year different, I decided to blog.  Blogging might come easily to most, in this day of high technology, but honestly, it will be a challenge for me. 

So, getting back to age.  It’s just a number, right?  And I should take pride in the fact that most people have told me “you don’t look your age”.  Well that’s great, but what does 50 look like?  Certainly I’ve seen beautiful slim and sexy models and actresses who are 50 and older, who I still consider smokin’ hot.  Is that the new 50?  Let’s not kid ourselves.  50 is a number, and it’s a mighty big one!  You can’t turn on the TV, radio, pick up the daily news, or walk thru the cosmetic department of Macys without being reminded … nobody wants to age, nobody wants to look their age.  Concealers. Anti-Aging Cream.  Gravity Defying Lotion.  Tuck it! Nip it! Spank it!  God, for the first time I realize I hate big numbers!  Age: 50.  Size: 14.  I have been battling big numbers my whole life!!   And Jennifer Hudson, you might believe “Cuz it Works”, but I know that really translates to “if you watch each and every little thing you consume…it works”.  I have a hard enough time watching everything I say, much less everything I consume. 

So for me.  I accept size 14.  It has varied, up and down, and over the years it has shifted from the hips to the waist to bottom, and everywhere in between, but … it remains!  So this year, I vow to accept it.  To accept me.  So congratulations to me and Happy 50th.  I’m Fifty and proud.  I’m Fat and proud.   OK OK politically <auto-correct>.  Chunky and proud.  And like it or not, I’m going to be blogging for a year.  I hope in the coming year I compose a site worthy of followers, however often having been a girl…..a woman….who has marched to the beat of her own drum – giving little credence to what’s the “right side of the fence” – if my blog finds no regular followers, it shall always have one very dedicated observer and participant = me.  Love to all.