March is almost amongst us and that’s caused me to look at the first part of the year. Time flies. It’s been a strange few months, good and bad. Great highs and tremendous lows.
A good friend had a baby and it was a glorious event; I see it bringing her great happiness and bringing her family closer together. Another friend still struggles with the death of her premature baby’s passing. Life and death. Rhonda’s close coworker is losing his dad to cancer unexpectedly and quickly, and this week he found out he & his wife are expecting. Life and death.
A month from today I will be writing my blog from Vermont, where I will be spending the night at my brother’s home; a relationship I had almost given up on years ago. It’s funny how life unfolds and how small gestures can change and literally move mountains.
This year has, so far, been eye opening to me. On a personal note I’ve had two run-ins with the cops and realize I should’nt take so many things for granted. This year I’ve experienced great love and great loss, hanging on to feelings and relationships that aren’t always healthy; and I find it’s a curse for more than just myself in our family. We care too much sometimes. It allows us to be used. I will not be used and last year I did an awesome job of weeding past those habits. This year I will continue. And then there are the people who we don’t thank enough. So to those people ‘thank you’ for loving me and getting me. And for bailing me out of the shit I can sometimes get myself stuck in.
This year I have found a passion for writing. This year I have fostered a love of music and spend at least an hour a day immersed in it, and I have grown more fond of my appreciation of a peaceful existence. This year I have changed so many things I thought were unchangeable.
So, I wonder, are we all works in progress? Do others sit and ponder their lives, and their place in it? Or is it just me, OCD that I am, taking stock and inventory of where I am and where I’m going? Not for some master plan, but just for myself. It’s like cleaning your readers, in doing so it’s amazing what you’ll see.
We live our whole lives trying to survive. We live our whole lives looking for the perfect love. We work our whole lives saving to retire. It makes me wonder where’s the ‘living’??? I would give anything to have lived in a simplier time, a time less complex, where the basic simplicity of life & love wasn’t only enough, it was grandly cherished.
I’m far from perfect. And despite a changing complex world where we still find ourselves in senseless wars and people still fight for basic freedom & rights. I suppose that means the world mirrors me (and you) pictures of imperfection. As I examine the beginning of 2013 I find comfort in knowing you can indeed teach an old dog new tricks. How do I know? I’m an old dog, and this year I’m changing things, parts of me I have carried around for the past 40+ years. It may have taken a wakeup call, but at least I heard the alarm.
The moral of the story? Look at yourself. What do you see? Are you happy with what you see? It not, change it. Garbage in=Garbage out.
I believe every life we live there’s a lesson in it. Mine may be to trust more and be trusted more. I could certainly use a hot wax and detail on both.
The truth we can’t escape is that time Ticks on, and fast. So visit that old friend whose voice makes you smile. Talk more often to those you love. Smell the flowers and fertilize your personal garden. Make the changes you see are needed. Stop the behavior that’s pulled you down.
I’m challenging myself this year to make three major and life altering things about myself. I’m a month into one, and it feels good. I’m six months into a second, and while challenging, I’m still staying afloat. If I can do this, so can you. So don’t let the days turn into months turn into years. Today. Tonight. In this moment, be the best person you can be, the rewards are mindblowing. You may just find the greatest job you have is loving yourself, and that your most trusted and valued friend is none other than the same person. You. Walk proud and loud! Peace.